This picture was taken almost exactly one year ago, on my birthday. Lots of things have changed in my life since then.The biggest difference between myself then and myself now is that I could never drink alcohol now like I did the night this picture was taken. Since being diagnosed with POTS I have reduced my alcohol consumption to zero because drinking alcohol makes me feel dramatically worse. Most of the time I'm okay with this, because I was kind of tapering off my drinking before I got sick anyway, but sometimes it's a little sad. I don't get invited out to bars or parties really anymore, because everyone knows I won't have fun being the sober girl watching everyone else get wasted and act like jackasses. When I do go out, I have to drink water, and I have to deal with the million questions that go along with that. Sometimes I just want to lie and say I'm drinking vodka straight, but I don't... POTS has really changed my life, in more ways than just this one, and I can only really come up with negative ways it has done so...
But enough with that. Since this picture was taken, I re-enrolled in college; I will have finished my degree by this time two weeks from now. David and I moved apart, and now I live with Jessie. Even though I'm lonelier than I was when we lived together, as far as sleeping alone most nights, I think it was the right move for our relationship. It, along with not going out partying every night, has made me realize all the good things about him and our relationship without having to deal with the stress of trying to pay bills together and keep a house clean together (which we NEVER EVER did).
When that picture was taken I still worked at Chili's. In fact, that picture was taken at Chili's. But in December, Tracie (my old boss) and I disagreed about my holiday schedule, and, long story short, I don't work there anymore. I work at Bandana's now, and I hate it. It isn't the company. It isn't even the people I work with for the most part. It's mainly two things: (1) first and foremost, it isn't Chili's. I miss working with people I know, people I have known for the last (almost) two years. I miss working with Jessie. And (2) working for minimum wage really really sucks. Especially considering I was serving and making almost triple that an hour before I left Chili's. It's frustrating, and it's not paying the bills, which makes it even worse. But I'm finally starting to bond with some of the people I work with, so it's getting harder to think about quitting there, even though I think about it a lot...
This is going to sound ridiculous, but I miss the hairstyle I had in that picture. About a month and a half ago I made the horrific mistake of getting an $11 haircut, and I'm still paying for it in the stress that it's caused. I told the girl who cut it that I wanted about three inches cut off, and instead she cut off like seven. She also gave me little boy bangs that aren't remotely close to being even, and I'm not sure how I'm ever going get that fixed. I am going to have to wait five years until they have grown the length of the rest of my hair I guess. I miss my long, pretty, non-little-boy-like hair from last year. It's sad.
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