This isn't right

I have been taking Lexapro for a few months now, and I still feel sad. Sorry to just burst out with it like that, but there it is. I have a pounding headache and I'm not trying to sugar coat things... Anyway, I started taking Lexapro and within a month or so I could tell it was making a difference. I was happier, I felt like things didn't bother me as much, my anxiety wasn't as bad. And for the most part now, my anxiety is still pretty under control. But I still feel so sad all the time. I feel like my life is going no where, like I'm not working toward anything. I don't have any goals. Everyone keeps asking me when David and I are going to get married, and I'm almost embarrassed when I think of how I really want to answer the question. I say, "oh, he's still got three years of school left, there is no way we'll get married during that," but what I mean is, "that isn't one of my goals in life, sorry 'bout that." Not that I don't want to be with him, marriage just isn't one of those things I look forward to like other girls. Same with having children - it's just not one of my goals in life. Without those two things, I feel directionless. In high school I worked toward college; in college I worked toward my degree; after college I worked toward getting a job. Now that I have a job, I don't have anything to work toward. I love my position in the company - I don't want to advance just yet because I don't want to change anything about what I'm doing. I just feel lost...

I also feel lonely. David is in school, and even if he weren't, I shouldn't put all my eggs in that basket to prevent myself from feeling so lonely. Jessie and I don't live together anymore, so I don't have a built-in friend living in my house. Amy moved up here, but she has school, and we aren't really interested in doing the same things. I just don't really feel like I have any friends. My whole life I've always had at least one girl friend who I did everything with - Allyssa, Lauren, Monique, Jenn, Jessie... and now I don't have anyone. Sure, I'm still friends with all those girls, but I miss having someone to be inseparable with. It's frustrating, and it makes me feel bad about myself. I feel like all the girls in my life already have a best friend and don't have any space for me... How lame do I sound?

Even if I found someone to hang out with, I end up choosing to hang out with David instead. I feel bad going out when he doesn't have anything to do, and quite frankly, I feel like I get a bit interrogated when I get home from doing something with someone else. He doesn't flat out ask if I did anything wrong, but he asks a zillion questions about who I was with and where I was... and then he repeats the questions, like he is trying to catch me in something. It becomes overwhelming, so I just don't go out with anyone to prevent from having to answer his third degree questions. That sounds bad; it could all be in my head, and it very well may be. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive.

Anyway, my head is pounding, so I'll stop here.