I LOVE my new job. The people I work with keep telling me how well I'm doing, and it's very rewarding to be able to help the people I'm working with accomplish their goals. Last week was awesome: on Monday, Arris' catered lunch; on Wednesday I was voted MVP of my team and got a gift card for target, and a really nice email from one of the processors and my boss was sent to everyone on my team; on Thursday my boss took us all out to El Maguey for lunch and once again told me I was doing really well; and on Friday the people my team works for bought us all Jimmy John's. Not to mention the fact that we get free vending machine snacks, fresh fruit, juice, fountain soda, and coffee whenever we want. It's amazing. I love it. And I really seem to have a natural knack for it. I was only trained for one day while everyone else in my position gets trained for five days or more.
However, I am a little scared... The position I am in is only temporary. I am not worried about them not offering me a permanent position... I'm actually worried that they will. The position above mine is loan processor. The pay increase to become a loan processor is nearly double what I'm making now, which would be fantastic. But the people I work for now put in SO MANY HOURS each week, and I'm scared I won't be able to hack it. Also, because I want to go to law school next August I'm scared they're going to offer me a permanent position and I will have to quit a few months into it. I'm afraid I will be taking the position away from someone who has the drive and desire to be in the position long-term. But I'm also scared that if I don't take the permanent position they offer me, they will take my temporary position away from me and I will be left with nothing.
It's all really stressful to think about, but it's all compounded by the fact I'm freaking out about law school now too. David keeps telling me how the job market for lawyers is awful. Bob told me that you're not ALLOWED to work during your first year of college (which I take with a whole shaker of salt), and if that's true I better take the permanent processor position just to save up some money. A girl I work with at vamc did one year of law school and she said that sometimes you put in 15 hour days and that it's pretty hard (which I expected), and that makes me scared that I won't be able to work even if I'm "allowed" to because my grades will suffer. Another HUGE thing I can't stop thinking about is how I'm going to be stuck in Columbia for the next three and a half years. I am only applying at MU Law School because David is planning on staying here for graduate school and I'm not trying to do the long distance thing again. By the time I'm done I will be 27, and everyone else in my life aside from David will have long since moved on from this town. I feel like my life is passing me by; I feel like the rest of the world is moving on and I'm stuck in some kind of time warp or something.
I just hate making these huge life decisions. I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to detour any more than I already have. I don't believe any decision is permanent, but I'm not trying to waste any more of my time. I just want to make the right decisions.
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I would take the job.
ReplyDeleteYou could do school part time. It would take longer, but you would be able to stay in a job position you currently love without worrying about failing all of your classes. Do what will make you happy. If you're not happy then you're doing it wrong.